Lean on Your Partner When You Feel Low

All of us have times in our lives when we don’t feel good about ourselves. Every human sometimes wonders if they are loved, or enough, or good enough. This is pretty common for most of us. And when we hold these low ideas about ourselves most of us get a pretty terrible feeling inside us, and we might even think we are alone in the world. And that feels awful.

But what if you could think of your partner, your mate, the one you love as standing strong for you when you have these low feelings? What would it be like for you to actually go to them and say, “I could really use a hug from you right now?”

For many of us, having expectations is a way of life. As people we often think about things we want or experiences we would like to have and then we just expect them to happen. We might not even think about how many times we just expect things to go the way our head tells us they should.

But in a relationship it’s easy to see when those expectations don’t materialize, because every time that happens we are probably ready to tell the person we love how disappointed we are in them. We have come to expect things in our relationships too. And that can be challenging.

Having an argument with the person we love is one of the most difficult events we can go through in a relationship. When we are not upset, our special person is our favorite individual. We love them. When we get our feelings hurt, or we get misunderstood or get angry at them, they turn from our loving soulmate to someone we war with.

And when we get pulled into an argument with our loved one it doesn’t matter what came before the argument. It doesn’t matter that we get along most of the time. It doesn’t matter that we had a great day just a few minutes before. All that matters is that we are hurt, feel unloved and now we are MAD!

I know every time I am feeling good and I say yes to something I always feel better. It’s as if good positive energy becomes bigger. I noticed this recently when I was reading an article about humans and their pets.

A recent study talked about how when pet owners look into the eyes of their pet, both animal and human get a dose of the pleasure hormone in their bodies. That hormone is called dopamine. And it happens naturally when we are engaged with our pet at a deep level.

Annoying girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse getting on your nerves? There are peaceful, loving, productive ways to deal with it. This article examines some of those ways, and also some of what not to do.

All of us sometimes in our lives get annoyed with people we love. It’s only normal that when humans interact in close quarters they are inevitably going to get on each other’s nerves. And in relationships this annoyance can happen regularly. In fact in many relationships it does.

When we think of saying I love you to someone we certainly don’t think that I am sorry belongs in the same category. In our heads they seem far apart. One is an expression of our truest most wonderful feelings for a special person. The other is said when we think we might have hurt someone and we want to make it better.

So what would tie the two together? Before we see the connection I want to talk about how we learn each concept. The loving sentiment we might have heard from our parents when we were small. We might have heard them say, “I love you.” We might have been encouraged as children to say it to others, maybe grandparents or other relatives, and we probably heard it from them. We learn this is a good thing to say. Maybe we learn it’s just for families.

As a relationship guide, I spend a lot of time simplifying the most important elements that make a good relationship. The more I teach, the more concise it gets. And I think I have it boiled down to just three parts, three important ingredients to help your relationship thrive.

While they are few in number, the steps might be considered challenging as they require a lot of thought, patience, and trust. The thought part is you thinking about the parts and actually deciding to make yourself do the work. The patience is not expecting to get things right all at once, to be able to allow yourself to develop new positive behaviors in the time it takes. The trust is so you will believe in yourself when you doubt your progress and remind yourself that you can indeed do this.

Some of us in relationships at times feel like we are missing something from our partner. We are waiting to feel more intensity from the person we love. I have personally felt this experience and I know the couples I counsel often talk about it.

This may sound strange, but I believe this occurs in most relationships, even the most loving of relationships and between people who say they have a great relationship.

By the time we are grown up almost all of us have figured out how to get what we want in life and how to get things that we don’t like to stop. We usually learn these skills when we are very young, starting with our first empowering word: “NO.”

As an adult we find out partner and then we use these same skills to continue the process of getting what we want and stopping what we don’t want.

But for many couples the habits and skills we bring into a relationship often create difficulty with our beloved…

I was thinking about acceptance the other day and was realizing that this is a practice that might take a long time to get good at, especially when we are talking about relationships. You see, all of us pretty much like who we are. We like how we think, how we behave and act. We like our ways.

And many of us get really perturbed when our partner doesn’t agree with us. They might do something different than what we learned growing up. Or they might like something arranged differently then how we prefer. They might even say things we would never say.

Tag Archives: feelings

Lean on Your Partner When You Feel Low

How Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships Disappoint Us

Why I Feel So Lonely After an Argument

Dopamine, Love, and Connectedness in Relationships

Annoying Girlfriend, Boyfriend, or Spouse Driving You Crazy?

The Hidden Connection Between “I Love You” and “Sorry”

3 Relationship Rules to Live By

Differences & Feeling Empty in a Relationship

Gentle Requests – On Communication in Relationships

Accepting Differences Between You and Your Partner