Annoying girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse getting on your nerves? Don’t know what to do about it? Read on to find some ways to deal with it that won’t turn into an argument.
All of us sometimes in our lives get annoyed with people we love. It’s only normal that when humans interact in close quarters they are inevitably going to get on each other’s nerves. And in relationships this annoyance can happen regularly. In fact in many relationships it does.
What Really Happens When an “Annoying Girlfriend or Boyfriend” Gets on Our Nerves?
So why does it happen and what can we do about it? First off, if you live with someone that you love but sometimes you get frustrated or annoyed with them, welcome to your very unique and very common human journey. This describes most people’s lives.
It’s not that you have an annoying girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. It’s someone you love, who has some annoying habits.
Many couples figure out how to live with these minor difficulties. Some just ignore the things in their mate they don’t like. Others complain and try to fix the other person to make it better. We all do something when our idea of comfort is disturbed.
And that’s really what it is. We are somehow made uncomfortable by our mate and we want the discomfort to stop. This is what we call a bother.
Consider How You Deal with Your Partner Annoying You
So think about how you handle your situations when you encounter something that just doesn’t feel right and you attribute the situation to some action or behavior from your partner. What do you do? Do you get them to notice what they are doing to you in the moment? Do you just ask them to stop what they are doing? Do you ignore it and get frustrated?
We all handle ourselves differently. It helps to realize what it is you do. I have different ways to handle my upset. If it happens in my sleep I am much more prone to be a little annoyed and let my partner know it. I am very attached to my sleep, as if it’s something to protect at all costs. When I am awakened by him moving or making snoring sounds I get annoyed, especially when I am trying to get back to sleep after being awakened.
Apologize for Snapping At Your Annoying Partner
I know I am not very kind when I am sleeping either. I sometimes say things like, “Stop snoring,” or “You’re snoring.” I try and mend the hurt feelings the morning after because I know he doesn’t feel loved when I say those things to him. I am working on not holding him responsible for a natural act. He is just sleeping and moving the way he always does. I wake up when he moves and makes noise, but is that really his fault? Should he be blamed? No, it’s not his fault and I should not be blaming him.
Many of us carry our habits from when we were little children. I know in my family we didn’t really learn about personal space. If someone wanted quiet, they would just yell for everyone to be quiet (and they would use more pointed words). And they would really yell. We didn’t tiptoe around the house and honor people who had gone to bed because their door was closed. So the idea of personal space and personal quiet time is not very familiar to me.
Change the Circumstances in Which Your Spouse Can Annoy You
The practice of getting people to comply when there is noise and I don’t like it is VERY familiar to me. And when I am awakened from a deep sleep my discontent runs high. I am trying to grow out of my need to control the noise. I wear ear plugs now and if it get’s to be too much, I can always sleep somewhere else in the house. I have options.
What’s really changing me though is the awareness that my beloved has a right to his sleep, just as much as I do. And when I’m awake there’s even a bigger part of me that wants to champion his right.
How to Be Less Annoyed at Your Girlfriend, Boyfriend, or Spouse
Read a Book About Communication in Relationships
Can’t make it on Monday? Read all about how you can communicate more lovingly in Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It provides tips on softer communication that just might help you and your “annoying” girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse handle conflict more effectively, without needlessly hurting each other. Give it a read.
Get Couples Counseling
Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you think less in terms of what “my annoying girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse does to me” and instead work through problems in your relationship.