Dopamine, Love, and Connectedness in Relationships


Love, Dopamine, and Connectedness in Relationships

I know every time I am feeling good and I say yes to something I always feel better. It’s as if good positive energy becomes bigger. I noticed this recently when I was reading an article about humans and their pets.

Why Connecting Makes You Feel Good

Connectedness, Love, and Dopamine? LOOK AT THOSE PUPPY EYES

A recent study talked about how when pet owners look into the eyes of their pet, both animal and human get a dose of the pleasure hormone in their bodies. That hormone is called dopamine. And it happens naturally when we are engaged with our pet at a deep level.

I thought about how it feels when my little Maltese gazes at me with her loving little eyes. Yes, I do feel that she loves me above everyone and every thing. So the next moment when she looked at me I looked back, from that deepest part inside me. I looked lovingly at her as she at me and I did feel something. It was soft and gushy and wonderful.

Dopamine and Love

It lasted the whole time we locked our eyes, about a minute. So in that minute, the two of us got nourished. We both felt a shot of the feel good substance made naturally in our body. The one we call dopamine.

Then I wondered if I could feel this in other ways. So I woke my husband up and kissed his face. Then I kissed his forehead. It wasn’t as intense as peering into my puppy’s eyes, but it still felt good. And I felt his energy that he liked it too.

If this is so simple, why wouldn’t we as humans use this more often. How can we be the creators of feeling good in our lives. Some of it just takes a moment, like being open to trying something new and saying yes when something presents itself.

Discomfort, Fighting, and Coming from Negativity

Nagging? Arguing? Wouldn't your prefer some dopamine and love? These behaviors can hook you up...

Yet humans are creatures of comfort. When we become uncomfortable we do everything we can to bring our comfort back. Sometimes this includes asking or demanding that someone be different. Discomfort often sounds like, “Stop that,” “Why are you doing that?” and “I hate the way you….”

When we say these words to our mate we are really telling them we are uncomfortable and we want to be comfortable again and they should change what they are doing so we will have it. In this instance we are staying closed to our life. We do not want anything to alter. We like things just the way they are. We are stuck wanting things to be different, and these thoughts cause us to suffer.

Boosting Dopamine Levels for Connection and a Better Relationship

So if we flip the switch and think of saying yes to different ideas and inspirations and creative thoughts we might just increase that pleasure hormone inside us.

Take a look at some of the ways we can to do that naturally:

  • Good surprises
  • Exercise
  • Achieving a goal
  • Laughing
  • Discovering something new
  • Visualization
  • Looking

I felt that last one earlier today while walking my dog. I often walk by a house that has a mixture of plants with many forms of cactus. Some of the little round cacti grow beautiful pink flowers. These flowers though, last only one day. When I see them I feel a jolt of pleasure, as if I am receiving a treat, just for me. So on this day when I turned the corner there were about a dozen pink beauties staring at me. It was spectacular! I shrieked with joy, thanking the surprise flowers and feeling so happy. And I do believe that in that moment my pleasure hormone was on fire.


How to Feel Better and Fight Less

Read a Book About Productive Communication in Relationships

Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. Book by Linda Nusbaum.

Can’t make it on Monday? Read all about how you can argue less and communicate more lovingly in Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It might just help you feel better. Give it a read.

Get Couples Counseling

Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It’ll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.

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