Nagging in relationships: it’s common and doesn’t make anyone happy. No one wants to be nagged, and no one wants to nag their partner. Why does it happen, and how can we move past it?
When we are in a relationship, we often rely on our partner to do things for us. This is only natural. They probably rely on us to do for them as well.
When couples struggle in a relationship, someone or both might see their mates as the one who caused the hurt. If this is the case, then one or both might blame the other for making them feel bad.
This is very common among couples. I know this intimately because as a young girl I blamed everyone who hurt me. I did not know another way to communicate my hurt to the person who caused me pain.
I blamed the one who caused me difficulty and it was usually a family member. It would be strange if I did this alone, but we all did this. We just didn’t learn a better way of handling our hurt emotions.
Learning how to manage anger in a relationship can be challenging, but the rewards are well worth it. Learn where anger comes from and what you and your partner can do in response to the other’s anger.
Many of us get mad when our feelings get hurt. This is a very common human feature. A lot of us are wired to express our pain by getting upset, and that’s what we do.
Often when couples fight there is a whole swirl of emotions from each partner. And if it is a big argument then there might be a lot of distance between the two as each person soothes their hurt feelings.
It sometimes takes days or weeks for some couples to come back together again, and when they do it’s likely they don’t talk about what happened that tore them apart in the first place.
As humans all of us have every emotion and feeling known to man and woman. At sometime or another we might all feel that we didn’t deserve something, or that we might feel embarrassed about something else.
This is natural. We interact with others and sometimes those interactions just don’t go the way we wish. But what if you carry around some feelings like you aren’t loveable because of who you are?
Wondering how to stop blaming others for your feelings? Blame can undermine relationships and impede the love and empathy you crave when feeling hurt. Are you ready to learn where blame comes from, how to end it, and how much richer your relationship might be if you do?
All of us try and get what we want, even in a relationship with someone we love. We suggest, imply, and hope that they will do what we like so we can feel good about being with them.
This is likely how you operate in your life outside of the relationship. Many of us do. We organize what we want and how to achieve it, and often time we have successes. So why not with our relationship?
Isn’t this the way we make it good? If we just listen to our head, we will know what we want and then all we have to do is go about getting it. Right?
All of us in relationships will at one time or another hurt the ones we love. We probably don’t mean to do this, but it will happen. It happens because we are not in their heads, we are in our own, and we cannot ever really know how another person will take us until there is a reaction.
So, let’s say you get into a disagreement with the one you love and you say some things that are an exaggeration of what you really feel, but you are maybe so offended or mad that you just let the words and hurts fly.
This also happens in relationships. It also separates people into their own camps, away from each other, disconnected and both feeling terrible about what just happened.
Feeling closed off in a relationship might be more common than you think. We often feel disconnected from our partners. We all sometimes wonder why they don’t feel connected to us as well. It’s especially common among people who love each other.
I often hear from couples I work with that they feel disconnected from each other. This might just be one of our human conditions that everyone shares.
But here is the thing that I have been noticing about myself. When my heart is closed and I am feeling some type of way about my husband then there is separation and no connection.
I read an expression recently. It said, “We fall in love with our heart, we fall out of love with our head.” When I think about this I know it makes a lot of sense.
I have this friend who is sad that her marriage is ending. She still loves her mate, and she is feeling what her love is creating from her heart. She thinks about the good things that they shared, before things got bad and drove them to divorce.