What to Do When You’re Feeling Unlovable


Feeling unlovable and unworthy can leave us sad, like this woman.

Feeling unlovable can be downright devastating.

As humans all of us have every emotion and feeling known to man and woman. At sometime or another we might all feel that we didn’t deserve something, or that we might feel embarrassed about something else.

Personal History Can Leave Us Feeling Unlovable and Unworthy

Feeling unlovable can stem from a history of childhood issues or failed relationships, leaving one feeling sad or broken like the woman pictured.

This is natural. We interact with others and sometimes those interactions just don’t go the way we wish. But what if you carry around some feelings like you aren’t loveable because of who you are?

This is a terrible place to live. All of us are worthy, but if we didn’t get the chance to hear this about ourselves as a young person, we might not believe we are worth loving, and therefore we might think of ourselves as unworthy of love.

I think for a long time I didn’t know I was loveable. I didn’t really think about this concept, but my actions didn’t allow me to be involved with someone for any length of time. And if I was involved there were usually fights and cut offs that left me feeling bad, ashamed and unworthy.

Therapy and Self-Learning Can Help Reveal Our Lovable Aspects

Self-reflection and therapy can help you uncover your lovable aspects, helping you feel happy and confident like the man pictured.

I think these are feelings I carried around for many, many years. But when I started to go to my own personal counseling I began to talk about how I grew up. I got to see how I began holding on to these misguided ideas about myself. Slowly with the therapy, and meeting my husband-to-be, I gradually learned that I had other parts too.

We all have those other parts. Those parts include courage, and love, compassion and tenderness. I was always pushing for what I thought I needed in life, I didn’t even know I had soft parts. But slowly though these two processes I learned that there was more to me.

I didn’t have to stay stuck in feeling unlovable, unworthy, and ashamed. When we judge ourselves as inadequate, not fixable, we create a bit of self-hatred. And self-hatred is a form of inner torture which paralyzes our spirit.

You Are Lovable and You Are Worthy

Feeling lovably and worthy can reveal a bright, romantic future ahead of you, like that of the pictured bride-to-be.

You have a brilliant spirit that no one else on earth can claim. If you have worries that you aren’t good enough, that’s OK. But you might want to treat yourself with a little tenderness because you are not only worthy, you are a one of a kind individual with natural goodness and wisdom.

The world needs what you came to earth to do. Don’t deny the world, but even more importantly, don’t deny yourself of your amazing good life. See yourself as more, like I did. You can too because you are more. And don’t forget, you are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy.

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