When Anger Takes Over

When anger takes over we may not know what to do with ourselves, like this screaming woman at her wit's end.

When couples fight, sometimes there is a lot of anger that gets inflicted on people. Being angry is a secondary emotion. That means it comes second after the first emotion. The first emotion is often pain.

But if you have an angry habit, like I had, I know that there wasn’t someone to take care of your pain when you were little. And as little people if you wanted someone’s attention, well getting mad and yelling about it is a pretty good tactic.

But after you grow up and you are in an adult relationship it doesn’t work as well. That’s when the habit gets dicey and uncomfortable. If you have a pattern of getting mad and exploding, let’s talk. This article is for you.

Read More

When a Partner Cheats

When a partner cheats, you have to decide whether to stay...

All couples start out beautifully. Each person loves the other and there is a belief that the amazing union will last forever. But as we all know in a year or two things start to change.

It’s not that we stop loving our mate, it’s just that since our heart is so open, we get hurt when there is a misunderstanding. Sometimes these disagreements can separate us and keep us from connecting. This is pretty common too.

But when there is a mate who feels they have to leave the relationship in order to feel good about themselves well that is another situation entirely.

Read More

When Hurt Feelings Make Us Lash Out

Having our feelings hurt can make us verbally lash out at our partner.

People in relationships often have differing points of view. This is understandable because in a relationship there are two very different people involved. But when each person stands his or her ground and won’t give an inch and they are both doing this, then it can become a fight. We might even call it a war.

Read More

Do You Accept Your Mate?

Do you accept YOUR mate?

All of us in a relationship want things to go just right. We might have thought about how we would feel when we found our partner and many of us are trying to make everything just perfect, so we can be comfortable.

This is very common with people in relationships. All of us want things the way we want them. And some of us will impose ourselves on the other in order to get it.

Read More

If We Can’t Change Our Partner

When we can't change our partner, it can feel like things are set in stone.

Many times, in relationships people ask their partner to try and change their behavior. This happens often where someone likes things done one way and the mate wants it done differently.

It would be just great if everyone in a couple were to say, “Fine, you do it your way and I will do it mine,” without any disagreement. But that is usually not the way humans are wired.

Read More

Insecurity in Relationships: When We Worry Our Partner Will Leave

Insecurity in relationships shows up when we worry about our place with our partner.

Insecurity in relationships is incredibly common. So many of us wonder whether we will always be with the one we love! If we love them then we want to feel secure with them. But sometimes if there is ambivalence that we notice with our mate, we might feel insecure about the relationship.

This is common too. And if we feel unsure if the relationship will last, well we might resort to things that are full of anxiety, like asking if our partner loves us, or wondering when they will ask us to live with them, get engaged or even marry.

These are elements that make some of us feel secure in our relationship. If we have one of these elements, we might be able to lose our worry about when we will get it.

Read More

When We Wish Our Partner Were Different

We may wish our partner were different in some way.

Many of us in relationships dream of having the perfect life with our mate. But how many of us actually wish that our partners were different? I bet there are a number of us.

This is when we know in our minds what kind of partner we want. We look at our current mate and we think, “If only they would be like this, or do these things, then everything would be perfect.”

This is not unusual at all. When we find the person we want to love we might have been wishing for this for a long time. We might have even wished that this person would look and act a certain way too.

Read More

Nagging in Relationships

Nagging is common, and unwelcome, in relationships.

Nagging in relationships: it’s common and doesn’t make anyone happy. No one wants to be nagged, and no one wants to nag their partner. Why does it happen, and how can we move past it?

When we are in a relationship, we often rely on our partner to do things for us. This is only natural. They probably rely on us to do for them as well.

Read More

What Happens When We Blame Our Mate?

What happens when we blame our partners like this angry, pointing woman?

When couples struggle in a relationship, someone or both might see their mates as the one who caused the hurt. If this is the case, then one or both might blame the other for making them feel bad.

This is very common among couples. I know this intimately because as a young girl I blamed everyone who hurt me. I did not know another way to communicate my hurt to the person who caused me pain.

I blamed the one who caused me difficulty and it was usually a family member. It would be strange if I did this alone, but we all did this. We just didn’t learn a better way of handling our hurt emotions.

Read More

When There is a Misunderstanding

When there is a misunderstanding we may both feel confused and lost.

A misunderstanding can happen so easily. One partner says something the other believes it was a slight and gets offended and then there is a disagreement.

But what really happened was someone saying something that the other person didn’t quite understand and the receiver made it into something that it wasn’t.

Does this sound like something that happens in your relationship? Well, it happened in mine.

Read More