Why Relationships Make Us Grow


How Relationships Make Us Grow

All of us who fall in love want that love to stay as beautiful as it was in the beginning. This is only natural. When we finally meet our special someone and we feel the amazing connectedness we just want it to last and last and last.

Honeymoons Can’t Last Forever

Honeymoons can't last forever, and we eventually find ourselves upset due to conflict, like this couple.

Unfortunately, there is a name for this wonderful time. It’s called the “Honeymoon” period. It’s the time when everything is perfect. You get your person, they get you, there is never a hassle or disagreement, everything is wonderful.

But this time doesn’t last forever. In fact, it probably lasts somewhere between a year or two, depending on the people. This time is designed to meet our special person and that’s about it.

What Happens to Us When the Honeymoon Is Over?

We might feel distant after the honeymoon wanes, like this distant couple pictured.

So, you might be wondering what you do with the rest of the time you are together. Here is the skinny on that. What comes after the Honeymoon stage is the conflict stage. That’s where you start to see some cracks in your perfect world and you start to see your mate as kind of irritating and in some cases not as great as you thought they were.

And this stage is normal too. But it can also be a challenge for most people. When couples hit this stage one person or both people will try and get the other to bend to what they want. That’s when the disagreements begin. “No, don’t do it that way, do it this way,” you might be saying to your mate.

Resist the Temptation to Control Your Partner, and Focus on Acceptance

Focus on accepting your partner instead of controlling them. You'll be able to happily hold your partner, like the happy couple pictured.

You might be thinking “If I can only get them to do these things then everything will be OK.” But I am here to tell you there can not be one person deciding for the couple. Then there is an imbalance. You want each person to be able to be all of themselves, even if the two of you do things differently.

And that’s how we grow in a relationship. For the first time in both of your lives you are together with each other. Can you make this a sacred place for both of you? Can you develop an acceptance for how your partner does things even though you do things different? Can you withhold your criticism because you don’t like something that they do?

Acceptance and Operating as a Couple Will Help You Find Happiness

Acceptance is the key to happiness in a relationship, as depicted by the couple here who accept one another as they are.

These are the places that we grow new muscles for the good of the relationship, instead of thinking about being a single person trying to get what we want. All of us know how to be ourselves. We know our likes and dislikes. Do we know our partners? If we can spend time getting to know what they like and dislike instead of pushing our way on them we will thrive in the relationship.

Remember you love your mate. You really love your person. See if you can develop a way to live with them instead of against them. Because if you do, then you will easily move into the next phase of your relationship, from conflict to commitment. And that’s what all of us who love someone really want.

Need a Hand with Acceptance and Communication in Your Relationship?

Read a Book About Relationships

'Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship.' A book by Linda Nusbaum.

Learn how to express your needs kindly and productively, by reading Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It might just help you both feel heard and able to work together even more effectively all throughout your relationship. Give it a read.

Get Couples Counseling

Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.

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