Hi, this is Linda Nusbaum. It's been amazing being able to help everyone for so long, but it's time for me to retire. The site is up for archival purposes, but I've closed my practice.
Thank you.
I was walking my little dog the other day. She is about 12 pounds, a white Maltese, one of those soft fluffy animals that look like they could be stuffed. She is sweet beyond sugar and one of the nicest dogs I have ever met.
So when she spied a squirrel and began to tug on the leash, foaming at the mouth and growl I thought, “Who is this animal? This is not my little Molly.”
It can be difficult to unearth partners’ unspoken desires. Even little, seemingly mundane things that would make a husband or wife’s life better can just lie unmentioned and undiscovered. For years. And for what?
Do you ever wonder why your mate doesn’t tell you what they want? Do you sometimes think about how easy life would be if your partner just asked for what he or she needed from you? Does it sometimes just stun you to find out there is something very simple your mate has been waiting for and they haven’t told you what it is and they have been waiting for it for years?
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wonders “Will I ever find love?” It’s in every book, every show, every movie… so surely it’s part of the human condition. That must mean it’s out there, waiting for each of us.
Or so we’re told.
Changing little habits can make you feel better. The transition may feel strange, but stick with it and you just might be happier for it. Even something small can make a big difference in your day.
Earlier this month I made a minor decision. I decided to do something about my garage door opener placement in my car. I had become uncomfortable with the opener attached to the visor because the visor doesn’t sit flush with the roof of the car when pushed all the way up. The visor would droop a few inches because of the opener. I found myself pushing on the visor when ever I was driving to see if it would stay up. It was starting to drive me mad.
I often work with couples who are so ready to feel loved by their partners. They have dreamed about it, waited for it, fought over it and longed for it. As a couples counselor I see this hunger for love in many shapes and sizes.
It breaks my heart a little when I witness this among the clients I work with. And that’s why I feel so passionately about my work. I believe all couples who are together, who want to stay together, long to feel loved.
Learn how “loving from the inside out” just might reinforce your relationship and help you fight less.
I saw this young couple walking down the street. The woman reached up and kissed her man on the mouth while continuing their pace. He joined her in the quick kiss and when he pulled his head back he wore the biggest smile. That looked like love. And they probably both felt it in that moment.
It’s easy for most of us to know when we feel love, but how do you tell and how do you know when you are loved? I was thinking about this concept the other day. I wondered because in my own experience sometimes I don’t feel very lovable.
Feeling unloved is tough. I have some good news and some bad news about it. First, the bad news: it’s incredibly common. The good news is that even if you feel unlovable, there’s lots of hope, and signs of being loved might just be right under your nose.
I am a couples counselor. I work with people in relationships to help them resolve their problems and difficulties. But I wonder if people ever really ask themselves if their relationship is okay.
And if they did question whether their relationship was working, what would let them know it was? I believe it’s easy to tell if your relationship is workable. To know if yours qualifies, just ask yourself how long it takes the two of you to mend after an upset, argument or fight.
There is pain in our world. There is pain among couples who carry hurt feelings and just can’t heal them. I see this often in my work as a relationship counselor. Another thing I see is a statement from some people that goes like this, “I don’t like to apologize.”
Some are even more emphatic with, “I don’t ever say I’m sorry.” This is not uncommon for some people to think this way. Many people believe that if you apologize, you are showing a sign of weakness. Weakness is something many people believe they have to avoid at all cost.
How many of us sometimes wonder why we have to suffer in our relationships? As a Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in couples I can affirm that most of my clients often wonder this very question. They wonder if they can ever avoid difficulties in their relationship and feel better with the person they love.
Here are three ways you can decrease your suffering and increase your happiness…
Sometimes couples can stand even the hardest things. Take two people who love each other and who have been together for a while. He is oblivious about his wife’s feelings and she is a mess. Make no mistake, they love each other and they long to be happy, but the truth is they haven’t a clue how to get there.
Being in a relationship with the person we love is one of life’s greatest joys. Many of us long for that special person who we can just feel safe and happy and at home with. Most of us don’t need a lot. Love is really simple, a good connection, care, compassion, understanding. That’s really what people want from their beloved.