Many of us are trying to find the perfect mate, or have the perfect relationship. This is something many of us strive for in our lives. If I only had this then it would be perfect, we might say to ourselves.
Realistic Expectations Are Important
But let’s look at this for just a few moments. What in our life is ever really perfect? And if for the moment something feels exactly as it should be, how long does that feeling really last?
Nothing ever really stays the same, but many of us want the things to go back to the way they were and then it would be “perfect.”
All of us have our own unique imperfections. They are really just the way we come to earth. All of us are unique, not carbon copies of another.
No One is Perfect, and We All Have Our Lessons to Learn
We all come as who we are. At some point in our lives we begin to trust ourselves and decide that we are OK and that our ideas don’t need approval or scorn. We start to believe that our thoughts and intuition are just fine. In fact, they are more than fine–they are true to our unique self.
But for many of us learning to trust ourselves is not easy. We probably weren’t taught that we are enough and that what we bring to earth is really great, unique and our own human journey. We might not have learned this from our caretakers.
I know I didn’t. My dear mother was too overwhelmed to do much life teaching as it was. My siblings and I had to figure out things all by ourselves. When you are young and left to your own thoughts and ideas, well without a full brain you might not be able to figure out too much about life at all.
We Tend to Be Unnecessarily Hard on Ourselves
Even though you might have great strength and spirit, without teachers and guides, how are we to really learn how to manage? This is a problem for many of us. When we don’t have tools to manage our lives we look around and figure out how things are supposed to be and then we work hard to make sure everything comes out perfect.
If things are perfect then no one will get mad at us and we might just feel OK. But if we are not doing things exactly right, well we might just crush ourselves with our own inner criticism to make sure we do it better the next time.
We all have an inner critic, until we make friends with the harshness and turn it into something softer. Why do we treat our friends with the kindest thoughts ever, but turn our brutal words on ourselves?
Be Kind to Yourself
Do we really have to be perfect? Is anyone ever really perfect?
Think about being good to yourself. You are free to decide how to live your life and in the end you must. And the perfection you think is going to save you? Maybe we can learn from the Navajos who purposely weave an imperfection into their rugs, and in Japanese pottery where the imperfection becomes part of the treasure. They are all part of the art.
Imperfections are part of all of us. Learn to embrace yours. Maybe they are your treasure as well.
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