Friendship: Foundation of Relationships That LAST


Friendship: Foundation of Relationships That LAST

I was sitting with my husband the other night. We were at a restaurant and I started thinking whether he considered us friends. We have been in each others lives for the last 17 years and yet I didn’t know what he thought.

Are My Husband (or Wife) and I Friends?

“Are we friends?” I asked him. He turned his head toward me with a confused look on his face and then he asked me where this question came from. I told him that sometimes when I work with couples they tell me they love each other, but they are not very friendly with each other and I was thinking about writing an article about the subject.

I feel as if my husband and I are friends so I would say yes, but I wanted to see what he would say. Does he think we are friends? After the explanation he said, “I think people in a good relationship are friends. They are friends, partners, colleagues, and more. I think we have a good relationship so yes, I would say we are friends.”

A part of me just relaxed when I heard his words, and another part of me just smiled from the inside. Friends, that’s the best.

Companionship & Best Friendship

Couple playing. Not that friends play this way, but...play is friendly, right?

I think all of us want to feel that our person, our significant other, our wife or husband or partner is also our friend. Maybe we can even call them our “best” friend because they probably know us better than anyone else in our lives.

A best friend is someone who can hear everything we have to say and still love us. A best friend is a person who has our back and doesn’t even question it. A best friend will be there when needed without question. And as I describe all these traits I know that is true about my husband.

He is the one who does hear what I have to say, even when I think I am going on and on about something unimportant to him, he still seems to be able to listen. And I know he has my back. I remember when I was admitting to him that sometimes on short rides from my house I sometimes don’t wear my seatbelt. He was astounded. He said I would hate for someone to hit you. His thought of me being hurt is now in the forefront of my mind when I get in a car. Funny, I used to be able to forgo the belt for a few blocks but not now. I think of his concern and then I buckle up.

Friendship: Knowing You Can Count On & Enjoy Your Partner’s Company

And he is always there when I really need him, as if he just knows when that is and he also knows what I need. I want to say I am lucky. Maybe he would say he is lucky too.

And maybe that’s a piece of loving another, being their friend. There are a whole slew of other things we can be with our person and this list doesn’t feel so good; nag, controller, yeller, disconnected, pouter, silent.

Being one of the above behaviors drives people apart. Being a friend drives people together. And that’s what everyone in relationship wants, to be good together.

Foster a Deep Friendship; Make Your Relationship Last

Read a Book About Making Relationships Last

Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. Book by Linda Nusbaum.

My new book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship may help you develop or maintain the rich, satisfying, and friendly connection you and your partner need to make your relationship the happiest one yet. Give it a read.

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