Why Love Can Feel Like War

When Love Can Feel Like War

I met a new couple recently. They wanted to see if I could help them “fix” their relationship. They had been estranged for a while, but were hoping they could work through their issues for the kids.

I listened to each of them and I was struck with the hardness they both felt for each other. Each had been holding on to what was done to them in the years they had tried to make their relationship work. She felt betrayed. He felt attacked. Both were sad and disappointed.

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So, Your Partner Accidentally Upset You…

Snoring husband accidentally upset his wife. They totally sleep in full clothes on the living room couch. Yup.

All of us like things the way we like them. This is a part of being human, where we have preferences. We like what we like and we don’t like what we don’t like. I notice this because I get really cranky when my comfort is compromised.

And I bet I am a lot like you. And I also know that I have to soften around my edges to make room for my person, my husband, the one I am walking the earth with. And this is hard. I especially notice this when I am sleeping. I am what is known as a “light” sleeper. I wake up easily when there is noise.

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Lean on Your Partner When You Feel Low

Learn on Your Partner When You Feel Low

All of us have times in our lives when we don’t feel good about ourselves. Every human sometimes wonders if they are loved, or enough, or good enough. This is pretty common for most of us. And when we hold these low ideas about ourselves most of us get a pretty terrible feeling inside us, and we might even think we are alone in the world. And that feels awful.

But what if you could think of your partner, your mate, the one you love as standing strong for you when you have these low feelings? What would it be like for you to actually go to them and say, “I could really use a hug from you right now?”

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Build Beautiful Relationship Habits with Your Mate

Build Beautiful Relationship Habits with Your Mate

We all have habits in our life. You know, those are the things we do almost automatically. Like our routine when we get up in the morning, or when we sit down to enjoy a meal, or when we get ready for work. These are our habits, the way we do something. It’s the way we organize the daily activities of life.

We all pretty much know how to do them for ourselves. Yet even when we are in a relationship, we are still individuals as we continue to engage in our own routines and habits. But what if we were to do some things with the intention of doing them for the person we love.

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Positive Communication in Marriage for Happier Relationships

Positive Communication in Marriage for Happier Relationships That LAST

Humans are funny beings. We are extremely well equipped to tell instantly when something doesn’t feel right. We know immediately when we don’t like something. And we are experts at understanding what we need to stop when something bothers us so we can feel better.

We use these skills almost automatically, especially when we are in a relationship. We are the first ones to tell our partner, the one person we love the most, exactly what we don’t like about what they do or didn’t do.

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What Does Love Feel Like?

What Does Love Feel Like?

It would be helpful if all of us in relationships knew exactly what love is supposed to feel like. If we knew, then we would know if we were in love or if we weren’t. We wouldn’t wonder about it. As a couples specialist I work with a lot of people in relationships who are often not sure about the love they feel.

Some people will be very angry at their mate and tell me all the things the partner does to make them pull their hair out. Then I ask the same person, “Do you think about ending the relationship?” Then they scold me as if I haven’t been listening and then they tell me, “I can’t leave, I love him.”

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Something New

It’s not uncommon for people to walk in a creative way and try something new.  Often this can be scary and yet exhilarating.  As many of you know I used to be a broadcast journalist.  I covered stories across the country and globally.  For many years I loved this work.  As with all jobs however, sometimes they just become too routine, or they don’t feel as good as they once did.

There were many reasons why I become a therapist ten years ago, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  I am very happy here, and now I am bringing back my old skills in a new way with a live weekly broadcast.  Only this time it will be on the web, and it is designed not for me, but for you.

As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in relationships I have a private practice in Long Beach, California where I work with couples and individuals. With this new live web show I can help many more people.  I created this live broadcast to provide help and happiness to people in their relationships.

The format is designed to answer your questions about your issues.  You will be able to email, tweet and call-in during the show.  I also invite you to send me your thoughts and questions now so we can answer them when we begin taping.

I have put together a terrific team of people and we are all excited to begin.

FEEL BETTER LIVE will be coming to you in the next few weeks.  Watch the link below to learn more.

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