Being confident takes practice. But building confidence in ourselves and then applying it to our partner might just get us some great results.
I was telling a friend about a party I recently attended. I brought my dog along, just like last year (the host loves dogs). Last year there was another dog that gave my older dog some trouble. There was no aggression, but the other dog was closer to puppy age and my girl, well, she’s kind of old.
So as I was driving to the party and was rehashing what happened last year I had this thought, “She (my dog) will be OK. I know she will be able to take care of herself. I am not going to worry about her.”
Building Confidence in Others Affects Their Behavior
And then I thought of my emotions, what I probably felt a year ago. I was worried about my little dog. I remember picking her up when she would get frazzled because the puppy was trying to get her attention. I carried her around like she was a baby.
I realized that my worry probably had an impact on her. She might have felt my fear and concern. So this year, when I just accepted that she would be OK. It turned out she was. She took care of the anxious puppy all by herself. I didn’t have to do a thing.
When We’re Confident in Others, They Live Up to Our Expectations
I was talking about this to a friend and she got an “Aha” moment applying the concept to her son. She realized that if she could just hold the idea that her child will do what she asks him to do or understand, he will do it. And when I heard her talk about this I too realized that people in relationships can use this idea as well.
After all, is it not a relationship between me and my dog? Doesn’t my friend have a relationship between herself and her son? If we move this concept into our relationship it might look like this.
Building Confidence & Faith in Our Partner is Ultimately Rewarded
Sometimes we worry that our partner isn’t going to follow through, or understand something that is important to us. Some of us continue to drive the point home so they will get it. Some of us do this so much our partner feels as if they are being nagged. I do this sometimes because my husband can forget.
But what if I could just say whatever I needed to say once and then hold the confidence that he will do what I ask, or remember what I was saying. I am not telling you this plan will work every time, but I do think it has merit. If I just believe my mate will follow through at least I stop worrying. And maybe with enough practice he will learn to deliver without another mention.
And that might give each of us some ease. Imagine that.
Build Confidence Between You and Your Partner
Read a Book About Communicating in Relationships
Can’t make it on Monday? Learn more about how to communicate in your relationship to establish and support mutual trust in your relationship, by reading Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It just might help with building confidence between you and your partner, by keeping your communication channels open and clear. Give it a read.
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