Compromise in Relationships: The Secret Cost of Happiness

I have talked about my sleep before. I love my sleep and I want to get as much as I can. I am also a light sleeper, so when my husband breathes or stretches I feel the effects. I have gotten used to his way of sleeping, but lately when I wake up in the middle of the night he apparently wakes too (must be our ages&em;we are getting older).

The new trend is, I try to get back to sleep as soon as possible and I am almost there and then he will move or make a noise and this move or sound wakes me up. I will try again to get back to sleep and I am almost there and then he will make a noise or move and I will wake up again. This has been happening a lot lately.

Here’s what I did.

I was driving recently and while looking out the window saw an old man with white hair. He was tall and appeared in good health. He had this look in his eye, a young sort of gleam that spelled mischief. I caught him in the action of reaching for his ladies hand. It was a cold night and her head was buried in a hat, but I saw a huge smile brim across her mouth when they connected.

She took his hand and looked up at him. He looked at her and they locked eyes as if they had just met. It felt so fresh I thought for a moment they might be on a first date. But the friendliness of the action had a familiar feel to it and reminded me that they have probably held hands many, many times before.

Trust issues pervade relationships everywhere, but they can be overcome.

It almost sounds funny to talk about how we have to learn to trust our special person, our partner, our mate. But we do. We have to learn that the one we are in relationship with does love us, even when we can’t feel the love. And that is one of the hardest parts of staying together.

I was recently at a going away party for a dear friend who is moving away. It was a lively affair with food and wine and upbeat conversation. But the highlight of the evening was a gathering in a large comfortable room where we read or spoke our feelings about the person who is leaving. Our readings or poems were then put in a binder for the departed one to keep, a sort of “Memory Book”.

I knew this person because we have both been in a group that meets once a week. She and I have seen each other in this group for the last 15 years. Yes, I feel I know her. She has touched my life in several ways and I am grateful to have experienced this closeness…

Monthly Archives: February 2016

Compromise in Relationships: The Secret Cost of Happiness

Random Acts of Love: What Spontaneity Does for Relationships

Overcoming Trust Issues in a Relationship

Knowing We Are Loved