How We Are So Different from Our Partners


How We Are So Different from Our Partners

All of us are connected to our special person in our own way. And it is usually pretty great for those of us who are in a relationship with another person. But on occasion I am wondering if you ever feel that you are talking to someone who is from another planet?

I know sometimes I am talking to my mate and he is looking at me as if I have two heads. I feel he is just not following what I am talking about even though I am speaking in the language that I know how to speak.

There is nothing wrong with either of us. There is nothing wrong with the way that I speak, nor is there anything wrong with the way he listens. It’s just that we have different approaches to the world.

We May Experience the World Very Differently

Left brain vs right brain thinking. We are different from our partners, and experience the world in different ways.

I am a feeling person, ruled primarily from the right side of my brain which gives me imagination, intuition and creativity. My partner is dominated by his thinking brain which gives him words, linear thinking, facts, and logic.

We are both right for who we are. And you can see that we are very different in our responses to each other and the world. My partner interacts with the world by understanding what is happening. I interact with the world by feeling what is happening.

How We Experience the World Affects How We Communicate

Man talking to woman, highlighting how we experience the world in different ways and how it affects our communication.

We both work well for ourselves, but sometimes problems arise when we try and communicate with each other. He will fill me with details and I will fill him up with ideas and visualizations. And sometimes we aren’t speaking to each other at all.

I am comfortable with myself and how I communicate. He is comfortable with himself and how he communicates. And yes, sometimes we just miss each other and are actually speaking in different arenas.

Giving Each Other the Space to Be Yourselves Helps You Thrive

We may be different, but we can still thrive together.

I also see myself as more of an extrovert and my husband as more of an introvert. The reason I say this is because I feel enlivened when I interact with people and he doesn’t require this interaction. He is perfectly fine just thinking about things by himself.

Yet we still get along. I know that he needs what he needs, and he has given me room to express the way I have to express. And that’s what I want to impress upon you. Make allowances for the one you love, even though they are not like you nor do they process the world the same way you do. And ask for what you want from your mate, letting them know that you might need more from their understanding than just facts and figures.

There is room enough for both of you in the relationship even though you are different. You just have to figure out how to live and let live for each of you.


Learn How to Work Around Your Differences

Read a Book About Relationships

'Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship.' A book by Linda Nusbaum.

Learn how to improve the communication in your relationship, so that you can better understand each other, by reading Linda’s book Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It might just help you get one another, feel closer, and share even more love. Give it a read.

Get Couples Counseling

Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.

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