I was reading something yesterday about the yin and yang. This is a Chinese symbol from the 3rd century. It can relate to how couples work or how they don’t. Here is how I understand it. The yin is the female: caring and nurturing. The yang is the male: hard, strong, fast.

They depend on each other and when they are in balance, they create harmony. I was thinking about this concept recently as it relates to most of us who are in relationships.

Opposites Attract, But They Also Complicate

We have certain characteristics that belong just to us. They make us unique in our lives. But you may have noticed that your partner has different characteristics that makes them who they are, and those traits may be wildly different than yours.

According to the symbol of yin and yang, the union of you and your partner is completely perfect. The symbol talks about opposites attracting each other. Like the day and the night, like black and white, like good and bad.

The symbol suggests that all of us are a mixture of everything, and when we are with another, our relationship is filled with everything too. How do we navigate these opposing forces that we naturally live with?

This is the question. The two opposites complement each other, and neither is superior to the other.

We May Try Changing Someone, Rather Than Accepting Them

This is just a different view of how to think about a relationship. You are right for you; your partner is right for them. This is about being flexible with what we don’t like, and allowing all to live and be who they are.

Many of us try to get our partner to fit into what we think they should be doing and acting and saying. We wish they wouldn’t do certain things and if they only would stop doing the things, we would be a lot better off and we might even love them more.

I used to be this way, always trying to fit people into the boxes that I needed them to fit into. This way can be so frustrating because really no one wants to be told they are not right. This is something I learned after meeting my husband-to-be. I wanted to be with him, but I wanted him to be the man I wanted him to be, not the man he was.

Acceptance is Key to Relationships

I am glad I understood at some point that unless I let him be himself and emotionally supported him the way he was, there was never going to be any peace in our home.

Then I got the message and relaxed some and slowly learned to let him be him and as I did this, I got to know other parts of me. I didn’t have to control things and I could focus on what made me happy. I grew into myself as he expressed his self.

This is the yin and yang: harmony though balance. Neither superior, both important, more flexibility, calmer, more peace.

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