Does My Boyfriend Love Me? How Can I Tell?


Does My Boyfriend Love Me? What does the flower say? He loves me, he loves me not...

Does my boyfriend love me?” “Does my girlfriend really care?” You may have wondered, once or twice. While he probably does, let’s examine what leaves people questioning their partner’s love.

Does My Boyfriend Love Me, Even If He Rarely Says “I Love You?”

Does My Boyfriend Love Me? He Doesn't Say "I Love You" Often

All of us carry around a lot of feelings all the time. That’s just a characteristic of being human. Many of us carry around some deep love for our partners yet we don’t tell them about it. I am sometimes amazed during counseling sessions, when I will ask a man if he loves his girlfriend or wife and he’ll say, “Of course I do,” and then look over at her and say, “She knows that.”

He doesn’t tell her he loves her. He tells me he does and that she knows it. He accepts the fact that she already got his love declarations and assumes that’s all she needs. He already told her this and so it will always exist.

Vocalizing Love Can Be Hard Sometimes, Even in a Committed Relationship

But I think this is the very thing that couples struggle with. Many people in relationships wonder if the are really, truly loved by their mate. If we didn’t grow up with people telling us they loved us, or have been around people who showed us how to talk about our feelings, expressing our innermost thoughts or feelings is like speaking a foreign language. I can’t tell you how many people have said to me, “I just don’t know how to talk about that stuff.”

And yet, when we are in a relationship we just take for granted that our partner knows what we feel, even if we might have only told them once. Learning to share your feelings is something a lot of us learn after we are in a relationship. It’s important. All of us are pretty good at expressing when our feelings are upset, but how many of us are really good at sharing what we carry around in our heart about the person we love?

After all, when we don’t share, we leave people asking, “Does my boyfriend love me?” or “How does my girlfriend really feel?

Expressing Love is Learned. Start Practicing Today

Does My Boyfriend Love Me? Well, expressive love is a skill... Help him learn to express himself.

This is really a skill. And it’s a skill you can learn. I was watching a play recently. There was a scene where the father was dying and he was talking to his son in a way that might be the last time. He told the son that he was sorry he misjudged him and then he asked for the son to forgive him. It was a beautiful scene and then they both said I love you to each other.

It was as pure a moment as any. But then I wonder why we don’t do this with our partner? Why do we have such a hard time telling our deep truths to the one person who is most important to us? We may be able to speak our feelings when we think there is no more time left. Why not share them today? I would like us to rethink how we share our hearts. Tell the person you love, “I love you.” It doesn’t matter if they heard it before. It doesn’t matter if they already know it. It matters that you share your heart, because that is your truth.

Have a pure moment with the person you love, just what’s inside your heart to theirs. Beautiful, just like in the play.


How to Stop Wondering “Does My Boyfriend Love Me?”

Read a Book About Communicating Love, So You Can Feel Loved

'Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship.' A book by Linda Nusbaum.

Can’t make it on Monday? If you’d like more help expressing love in your relationship and spending less time wondering, “Does my boyfriend love me?“, check out Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It has tips that just may help you communicate your love to one another a little bit better, dissolving some of that uncertainty. Give it a read.

Get Couples Counseling

Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.

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