For Those Who Can’t Say I’m Sorry

There is pain in our world. There is pain among couples who carry hurt feelings and just can’t heal them. I see this often in my work as a relationship counselor. Another thing I see is a statement from some people that goes like this, “I don’t like to apologize.”

Some are even more emphatic with, “I don’t ever say I’m sorry.” This is not uncommon for some people to think this way. Many people believe that if you apologize, you are showing a sign of weakness. Weakness is something many people believe they have to avoid at all cost.

3 Ways to Stop the Bleeding In Your Relationship

How many of us sometimes wonder why we have to suffer in our relationships? As a Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in couples I can affirm that most of my clients often wonder this very question. They wonder if they can ever avoid difficulties in their relationship and feel better with the person they love.

Here are three ways you can decrease your suffering and increase your happiness…

Sometimes I Just Don’t Feel Loved by my Mate

One of the most common problems faced by couples who feel distant from each other is not knowing if they are loved by their mate. This sounds so simple yet can be the source of enormous pain and misunderstandings. Everyone wants to feel loved, so why is it sometimes so hard for people in a relationship to feel like they belong?

My Partner Stops Talking to Me When They’re Mad

This is one of the worst pains for couples. It’s called a cut-off. When two people fight, they go at it and get their feelings hurt, and then one person will cut off.

Learn why boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses cut one another off, and how to stop the problems underlying these situations.

My Partner Criticizes Me — Video Help for Relationship Problems

Being criticized feels really, really awful. Anyone who’s been picked apart can tell you that.

Let’s talk about why people criticize—the feelings underlying it, what they hope to achieve, and how to keep things civil and constructive.

My Partner Doesn’t Listen to Me: Relationship Help / Advice Video

Learn what to do when your partner doesn’t listen to you.

It’s common to feel like your partner doesn’t listen. We just want our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives to understand us. We want them to hear us, know our deepest thoughts, and to love us.

Really, that’s all we want: to be loved, to be seen, to be heard.

Here’s how to realize that goal.

I Don’t Feel Close to My Partner: Help Video for Relationship Problems

How to overcome not feeling close to your partner.

Our first impulse in relationships is to put forward our best face. We do it at work, we do it with family—especially extended family. It’s habit forming. We want to show a good face, because we want to be liked.

Sometimes, we do this in relationships. Here’s how it hurts us…

Why Does Love Change and What Can I Do?

When we fall in love we have deep feelings that what we are experiencing is amazing and unique, and unlike anything we have ever experienced before. For many of us it’s a dream come true, finally. So why doesn’t this wonderful feeling last? Why does it seem that after a while you begin to feel misunderstood by your partner? How did this shift happen? Just a little while ago you were just so close it felt like you were sharing one breath?

This is the hardest part of falling in love; the after. What happens when that intense desire and pull to be together eases a bit and other things start to creep into that magical space. It just doesn’t seem right, it shouldn’t change. It should stay just the same as it was. So what’s wrong with my partner? That’s often the first question that pops into our heads.

Other questions might include, “Why does he or she act the way they do and why are they getting on my nerves? I don’t think they love me as much as they did or they wouldn’t act this way. Maybe they are falling out of love with me. What should I do? I want to get what we shared back. How do I get it back?”

As a Marriage and Family therapist, one of the most common questions I am asked by couples is, “How do we get back to the way we were?” It would be great if there was a map for people, a set of instructions everyone could follow and then everyone could go back to their loving, magical place and never worry. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen and there is no set of instructions. There is however, a way to find something else, and maybe you might find it satisfying in another way, and it could be richer and deeper and safer for you as well.

This probably sounds like just words to you, because if you are in a difficult relationship you are already working to make it better and what you are doing may not be working, so how can you think it could be richer and deeper and satisfying if that’s not what you are experiencing. I understand, but here is what I believe.

As I work with couples I know that one way to get to a great relationship each person has to begin the journey of self; what do I think, what do I feel, what makes me happy, sad, uncomfortable, lonely, etc. This is the journey of the inner-self. All of us dabble in this from birth, but to be in a healthy relationship you have to be advanced in your own knowledge of yourself in order to be a good mate to your partner.

Understanding yourself is one of the foundational keys to building a life-long partnership. You want to build something that lasts, through life, so you and your mate can walk the journey together. That means you keep the big picture in the forefront, and you don’t let the disagreements tear you apart. There will always be misunderstandings. You live in different thoughts and minds. Get to know how your partner thinks and feels. Ask questions even if you think they are silly. All of us long to be of interest to another. Show your beloved you are interested in him or her.

Try not to take your mate for granted. Too much in life doesn’t go our way. Make a pact with your partner to make the relationship the one place where you will try to be on the same page, allowing understanding of each other and coming to a common ground. No one should be winning, both of you should feel good. That’s how you make love last.

Learn more about relationships by watching Linda’s live web show: Feel Better Live every Thursday at 6:00pm PST. Click here to learn more.

Send Linda your questions! You can reach out to @feelbetterlive via Twitter, post questions on FeelBetterLive’s wall on Facebook, email me, or call (562) 708-4606. Whether you send them now or during the show, Linda can answer your questions live on Feel Better Live.

One More Day

You are invited to watch the debut of a new show: Feel Better Live. It’s being hosted by Linda Nusbaum, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping couples. The first show will air tomorrow, Thursday, February 21st at 6:00pm and continue every Thursday at 6:00 from then on. It’s free and you don’t have to sign anything to be a part. All you have to do is visit the Feel Better Live Stream Page (feelbetterlive.com/watch-now/) by clicking here.

*Note, if you press play before the scheduled show you will be able to watch a promotional video.

So why should you watch? The show is designed to help people in their relationships. We all have many relationships in our lives; with our mates, with family, with children, at work. Often we run into difficulties and sometimes these challenges leave us feeling terrible. Let me help you work through your worries. Send me your questions and I will answer them live during the show. Don’t worry about identifying yourself, you can remain anonymous if you choose. You can start now by sending in your thoughts to feelbetterlive@gmail.com

I can’t wait to hear from you and have you be part of our new show. Me and my team are thrilled to be hitting the air.

See you soon!

Something New

It’s not uncommon for people to walk in a creative way and try something new. Often this can be scary and yet exhilarating. As many of you know I used to be a broadcast journalist. I covered stories across the country and globally. For many years I loved this work. As with all jobs however, sometimes they just become too routine, or they don’t feel as good as they once did.

There were many reasons why I become a therapist ten years ago, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I am very happy here, and now I am bringing back my old skills in a new way with a live weekly broadcast. Only this time it will be on the web, and it is designed not for me, but for you.

As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in relationships I have a private practice in Long Beach, California where I work with couples and individuals. With this new live web show I can help many more people. I created this live broadcast to provide help and happiness to people in their relationships.

The format is designed to answer your questions about your issues. You will be able to email, tweet and call-in during the show. I also invite you to send me your thoughts and questions now so we can answer them when we begin taping.

I have put together a terrific team of people and we are all excited to begin.

FEEL BETTER LIVE will be coming to you in the next few weeks. Watch the link below to learn more.

I'm retired.

Couples/Relationships Articles