In our relationships, the little things can mean a lot to us.
The Little Things Can Make Us Feel Cared For
This morning as I was making my tea and waiting for it to brew, I thought “I have 3 minutes. I could empty the dishwasher.” So instead of taking the teapot into the other room and relaxing into my chair to begin my day, I started to put the dishes away. I believed I could finish it in that amount of time.
As I was bringing the glasses over to their cabinet I thought of how much my husband does for me. He was the one who loaded the dishwasher and started it. He was the one who cooked an amazing dinner the night before and because I was very tired he offered to do the dishes, (normally my job) for me.
Our Partners Can Enrich Our Lives Without Even Being Aware
I had all these thoughts while putting the dishes away and then I felt this rush of love. Wow, he really loves me. Look at all he does for me. I continued to empty the dishwasher (it took a few more than 3 minutes). It didn’t feel like I was evening the score though, not even a little. He really does more than me. That’s how it felt in that moment. And when I realized this I became extremely grateful.
Maybe he’s not aware of all the things I notice him doing. Maybe he would do these things if I wasn’t even there. But the fact that I am there means I get to enjoy all these things being done for me. And they repeat themselves almost nightly.
A Little Appreciation Goes a Long Way
When I entered the den he called out, “Thank you for putting away the dishes.” I replied, “No problem.” And then I felt greedy, like all I did was walk around the kitchen with some plates and silverware. What kind of heavy lifting is that, really?
It’s not. But don’t tell him. And even if you did, I bet he would say I do a lot. I have heard him say that before, but I don’t really notice what I do. Maybe he does, just like I noticed him when I put the dishes away. Maybe he takes note when I make the coffee, and pick up the newspapers and throw out the old ones and walk and feed the dog and take out the garbage bins. These are the things that I do.
The Little Things Can Be Easy to Take For Granted
They just seem like the little things I have to do to keep the home running. They don’t feel special. And maybe that’s the point. I bet he would say the things he does don’t feel special to him either. They are just the things we do to help our lives run smoothly. And we both do them without too much fanfare.
What would it be like if you noticed what you partner does for you? I mean the little things. And they could be really little. Does your mate pick up your clothes? Does he take out the garbage? Does she make the bed? Notice what your special person does every day.
The Less We Take Things for Granted, The More We Cherish Each Other
Oh. I forgot to mention that my husband also does the shopping. He likes to. I don’t like to, and he is the cook so he buys what he wants to prepare. It works for us.
I think, “Wow! I am gifted with all his efforts.” Just try and notice what your partner does for the good of the house, the relationship and you. It could change your perspective. You might go from wishing they would do something else to appreciating what they already contribute, and it might make you feel really grateful.
Build a Foundation with the Little Things in Your Relationship
Attend a Talk About Relationships
On the 2nd and 3rd Monday each month, you can attend FREE relationship talks from marriage and family specialists. Come learn how to create a good relationship and understand problems that get in the way.
Come join the conversation. No reservations needed.
- Mondays: 6:30–7:30pm
- 1232 E Wardlow Road,
Long Beach, CA 90807.
Read a Book About Relationships
Can’t make it on Monday? If you’d like some help learning about ways you and your partner can make each other feel appreciated, try reading Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It might just help you communicate the gratefulness, love, and tenderness in your relationship. Give it a read.
Get Couples Counseling
Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.