“Will my relationship last?” If you’re wondering this, you’re definitely not alone… Couples everywhere hit rough patches. Here’s how to pull out of one, by fostering the belief that can keep your relationship resilient.
Answering “Yes,” to “Will My Relationship Last?” Isn’t Always Easy
I was thinking about what it takes to believe in a relationship. You know, where you don’t wonder “will my relationship last?” and you just have a sense that life is good and you are happy with your person. Maybe you don’t doubt as much.
So as I was thinking about this I was wondering how I know that my relationship is good. And the word that kept coming to me was belief. I believe it is. I feel it inside me and I don’t question it. My belief isn’t brick solid, it’s more fluid than that. I remember it most of the time. But there are times I feel unloved and terrible and during those times I can’t remember to believe.
Making Your Relationship Last Requires Believing in that Very Relationship
But the minute I am back, after a disagreement or something like that, I know I am happy with the one I want to be with, and can get back to a place where I remember my belief. It feels solid, but not like steel, more like a knowing throughout my body that I am OK, we are OK, life is good.
And maybe this is belief. It is alive and can change. So how do you build it so it always comes back, even after an argument?
How to Keep Believing in Your Relationship, Instead of Questioning “Will My Relationship Last?”
I think we have to remember that we love our person. Take mental inventory, like with a checklist, which might include how they make us feel sometimes: things like loved, safe, and happy. Or it could be what we appreciate about them. I mean the little things that we often don’t even notice. Can we begin to remind ourselves that a relationship, and that our relationship is really built on a lot of tiny little things that our loved one does and says to us that help us feel safe and loved?
When we do feel that kindness and softness again we can begin to believe that it will be good. We can live in the belief that we made the right choice and we are glad to be here.
Enjoying Your Partner and Believing That You Can Come Back to That Are Key
If we can start believing in the facts of our relationship; like we enjoy each other’s company, we do activities together, or we like the same music. It doesn’t matter what pleases you. What ever pleases you is part of your belief that the relationship is working. Build your relationship’s foundation with your preferences. By the time you have a bunch of them, you won’t have to wonder “Will my relationship last?” or “Can my relationship be good again?” You’ll just believe.
How to Wonder “Will My Relationship Last?” a Little Less Often, and Feel More Confident About Your Relationship
Read a Book About Love
Can’t make it on Monday? Learn more about relationships and what keeps them going strong, by reading Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It just might help you lay a solid foundation for your relationship that carries you well into the future Give it a read.
Get Couples Counseling
Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.