Want to change your habits or adjust your thinking to be more positive? It can be hard.
Many of us try to get rid of some thoughts and focus on others—perhaps more positive ones. And if you have tried this then you know how very hard this can be. All of us have wished our minds would just let go of some of the things it thinks about.
Adjusting Habits Can Bring Unexpected Benefits
But how many of us are truly successful at it? We can’t do it by force. But lately I have noticed something quite remarkable. Here is how it happened. My husband has been cutting carbs to reduce weight. He has become very devoted to this new way of eating.
I have seen him withhold foods before, but there is something different about this time. He is very focused and dedicated. So when my workout trainer who also knows my husband said to me, “Your husband is really talking more.” The following memory arrived.
How Changing My Diet Changed My Way of Thinking
Several months ago I stopped eating sugar for dietary reasons. It was something that just made sense to me after a lifetime of worshipping anything sweet and giving in and then fretting about eating whatever I indulged in.
These were the thoughts I had since being in my teens. I craved sweets and would eat them sparingly. Then I would feel bad and tell myself no sweets for a period of time. Then I would give in and start the cycle all over again. I had the same conversation with myself thousands of times. I mean thousands and thousands of times.
But when I cut out the sugar I no longer had to talk with myself in the way I used to. No more cycle of allowing something sweet, then feeling bad about eating it, and finally vowing to abstain for a bit and probably work out in some way.
Changing My Eating Habits Changed My Thoughts, By Breaking the Cycle
Those are a lot of looping thoughts. And those thoughts also produce a lot of different feelings starting with glee, turning to guilt and then motivation with a little bit of feeling bad.
So stopping the sugar not only improved my digestion, it also stopped all the conversations about eating it and my mood improved too. So this was the realization that occurred to me.
Which Habits Could Change Your Life for the Better?
When we organize our lives in a new way, we can eliminate discord in our brains. It sounds pretty simple doesn’t it? Think of what you could do to change what you don’t like in your life. It could be big or small. Make a decision to make the change happen. Stick to the change. Make yourself do it until you are in a new habit with the change. Then see if you feel better.
And you know how my husband is talking more with his trainer, yup, I think that’s because he is not thinking about certain things and he has more room in his brain. And that’s a good thing. Try it!
Change Your Relationship Habits for the Better
Read a Book About Relationships
If you’d like some help developing better communication habits for your relationship, try reading Linda’s book Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It just might help you improve your communication skills, fight less, and better meet each other’s needs. That way you can both feel happier with each other, with the relationship, and with your lives on the whole. Give it a read.
Get Couples Counseling
Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.