I was talking to a friend the other day when I said something that made me think, “Wow, I have to write a blog about this.” What I said was we have to remember who our special person is, instead of focusing on what they are doing.
Let me explain. We love our person because they just feel right to us. We know it on the inside. No one is able to see this, only us. No one can feel this like we feel it, either.
Couples Fight, But That Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Love Each Other
![Remember who you love, and that you love them, even when you're fighting.](https://counselinglongbeach.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/remember-who-you-love-fight-200x300.jpg)
When it is right, we just know it. And then we just throw in with everything we have and try and make a life. So, we start from where we are knowing what we want. We love our mate and we want to always feel this love.
But people will make their partners upset, in all relationships. This is normal. No one is exactly like you and will know how to avoid upsetting you. And the same goes for your mate.
Don’t Forget That You Love Your Partner
So, put the two of you together in tight quarters and feelings are bound to get hurt. It happens to everyone in relationships.
But what often happens is that we forget who we love based on what they do. We make the leap that if they loved us they wouldn’t act the way they are acting. We think that they don’t love us when they do things that hurt us.
Your Partner May Just Have Trouble Showing Their Love Sometimes
![Remember that you love each other, even if you're not always showing it very well.](https://counselinglongbeach.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/arguing-in-a-relationship-upset-200x300.jpg)
In almost all cases this is not true. People try their best to be good mates. Only some of us come into relationships with some good training. Maybe in your home you were taught courtesy, good manners, helpful skills and kindness. And maybe you live in a good way where you share your feelings always thinking how others will receive them.
But most of us don’t grow up in situations like this. Many of us get through our lives and probably figure a lot of things out all by ourselves. And if this occurs then our skills are based on surviving, not being in a relationship.
Love All of Your Partner
But everyone wants to be loved, even people with limited relationship skills. So now, to the point: when you love someone, love all of them. Love them when they are not at their best. Love them when they are doing things that hurt you. Love them always, because the cure for any difficult behavior is knowing you are loved.
We can’t just say I love my person, but I don’t like the part that acts like that. Most of us do this in a relationship and the person who is loved only sometimes can feel it when they are not loved.
If you can, try and remember to love them from that special place inside your heart, the place that fell for them in the first place. Don’t get stuck on what they are doing. Everyone can improve in the right environment. Create one for your special person. It will help.
Focus on the Love Your Have for Your Partner
Read a Book About Relationships
Learn about how to keep your love in mind and communicate openly and peacefully, by reading Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It just might help you keep love in mind and have a happier, more fulfilling relationship. Give it a read.
Get Couples Counseling
Come in for couples counseling. Couples counseling can help you and your loved one get the most out of your relationship. It'll equip you with coping strategies and tools for communication that can help you argue less and love more.