Sometimes in relationships one person is the boss and the other person kind of just follows what the boss wants and says. This can work, and in some cases it can work very well.
But sometimes some of us bristle at being told what to do by the boss. I had this experience recently, not from my mate but from a friend.
A funny thing happens when we fall in love with our person. We begin to expect things we sometimes can’t even put into words. I see this occurring in many of the couples that I counsel. I have fallen victim to this as well.
When we trust another with our heart, the head thinks things about this union too. The heart feels safe and connected and the mind then follows with expecting certain things to happen, like for our partner to always understand us.
Every one of us has a choice on how we respond to life. Yes, we are not automatic, unthinking machines that just react without thinking, although most of us are automatic human machines sometimes in our life.
Usually these are the times when we create the most difficulty for our relationship, when we respond to criticism, or harsh words or something unkind without thinking.
All of us expect things to go right in our lives. This is definitely the way humans are wired. We play out our expectations almost minute by minute. We select the food we want to eat and expect it to taste the way we remember. If it doesn’t then we might get upset or disappointed.
Well, we play out this system of expecting things in our relationships too. We simply expect to be happy with the person we love. Isn’t that the way the fairy tail ends? Living happily ever after? Only real life is not a fairy tale, and what we expect is not always what we get.