Seeing Each Other Differently: Refocusing Your Love


How We Can See Each Other Differently

Seeing each other differently can help you newly appreciate one another. It sometimes happens after confronting something particularly difficult.

I know this couple. They are friends of mine. I have known them for many years. A while back the husband came down with a severe condition. It required a lot of rest and a procedure.

He is healthy now. He is fine. And he felt something about his wife that helped him be happy again too.

Crisis and Loss Result in Seeing Each Other Differently, Refocusing How Much We Love and Value One Another

Crisis refocuses how we see each other...

He told me that before the procedure he was doing a routine task, paying bills. But when his wife saw this action, she became upset. Seeing her husband paying the bills spoke to her differently, considering the circumstances.

When she witnessed him in the act of paying the bills, it appeared to her as if he was “putting his affairs in order,” something people do when they are getting ready to meet their life’s end.

This moment made her break with sadness, because she thought and felt that she might not see him again. He witnessed her upset and sadness, and then something broke inside him too. He felt her love. He felt her care. He finally felt her again.

That moment taught him that nothing else mattered. He knew he was loved. He could let go of the earlier hurts or disappointments and nourish himself in this wonderful feeling. She loves me he felt. Nothing else matters.

Remember How Much You Cherish Your Loved One, and Smaller Conflicts Won’t Push You Apart

Seeing each other differently through the lens of your love helps you stay together

How many of us spend our lives being mad at the people we love? How many of us build a wall around our pain and we can’t see or feel anything else? I know I have done this in my past. Maybe you are doing this now.

Look at the people in your life who love you. Do you really know if they don’t? Will it take an end of life thought before you realize that you are loved?

My friend says he feels different now. He still encounters hurt feelings sometimes, but he knows he can choose something else to think about. He knows he can remember to feel the love that is there, that has always been there. And when he does remember, well everything else just seems to fade away, and what he’s left with is what he’s been waiting for all his life… love.


Start Seeing Each Other Differently, Through a Lens of Love

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'Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship.' A book by Linda Nusbaum.

Stay close with your partner by keeping the focus on your love for one another, by reading Linda’s book, Safe. Happy. Loved. Simple Skills for Your Relationship. It might just help fights and conflict affect you less, keeping you feeling closer, longer. Give it a read.

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