Why Misunderstandings Make Us Mad

Why Misunderstandings Make Us Mad

There are lots of reasons to get mad at the people we love. It just seems to happen, sometimes right out of the blue. We don’t plan on getting angry, but as we all know, anger can just come out of nowhere and when it does—well, watch out. Anger is not very pretty.

I know I have been working on decreasing my anger for a long time. It’s not that anger is bad. It’s just that when we say harsh things, yell, or swear at someone we love… Well, there could be a lot of hurt feelings and a lot of damage. I just got tired of cleaning up the mess I made when I got angry.

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Coping with Anger: Why We Rage and How to Heal

Coping with Anger: Why We Rage and How to Heal

Most of us are pretty easy going. We have lives that we manage. We might go to work or school and we make out there OK too. So why is it that when we have a disagreement with our partner, the one we love the most, we see RED and want to take their head off?

I know when I feel misunderstood or dismissed by my husband it is a terrible pain. It feels as if he is doing it on purpose. I know logically that is not true. He loves me and does not want to see me upset. In fact, I bet if he knew every pitfall he was about to step into that would make me unhappy, he’d get out a roadmap and avoid them. He doesn’t want to make me upset. I believe your partner feels the same way.

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Dealing with Conflict and Pain in Relationships

Dealing with Conflict and Pain in Relationships

I was thinking about a couple I have the opportunity to help. They love something they created at one time. They both want to get back to feeling what they used to feel from the other person. They are desperate to feel this again. But it’s been a long time and now they are both in pain.

Pain can turn us into bitter creatures. It makes us get mad at the person we love, or freeze them out because they have hurt us. Pain turns us into the worst versions of what we once were; loving people.

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Love and Anger: The Wedge Between Our Hearts

Love and Anger, the Wedge Between Our Hearts

I worked with a couple recently. The man was very angry at his wife. The man wanted his wife to end a work situation that he resented. He resented this work situation very much and considered this to be the problem, the only problem in the marriage.

The marriage was suffering. The wife was unhappy. The husband was unhappy. He believed that if she left her work situation the marriage and their happiness level would improve. The wife however, LOVED her work and derived a lot of joy from it.

She felt empowered by it and carried a great sense of pride over what she had accomplished. These feelings were discounted by the husband as proof that he had been left. His anger prevented him from feeling anything except her not valuing him.

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How Anger Cuts Us Off From Our Loved Ones

How Anger Cuts Us Off From Our Loved Ones

Every one of us does something when we are angry. All of us have some kind of behavior that accompanies feelings of being wronged. It’s just how humans are wired.

I was thinking about this after reading a story about a married couple. They love each other. He is deaf and nearly blind. They communicate through sign language where the husband places his hands on the wife’s. That’s how they talk. It was a beautiful story. It told how they fell in love, through communicating with holding each others hands.

The story gave rich details about their lives. It even mentioned something everyone goes through, which some people did not expect. This couple gets mad at each other too. Only when the feelings are big, they still have to connect their hands in order to tell each other what is wrong…

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How to Deal with an Irritating Girlfriend, Boyfriend, or Spouse

How to Deal with an Irritating Girlfriend, Boyfriend, Husband, or Wife

Most of us can relate to feeling some sort of irritation with our mate. I know we try and love them, but we all know we don’t love everything they do. In fact we might even become annoyed or irritated by some of their behaviors.

Some of us even get so frustrated when this happens that we can’t deal with those behaviors anymore so we leave the relationship and look for another partner, less annoying and irritating. But this article is about you staying in the relationship you are in and learning how to deal with your discomfort.

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Relationship Arguments: How to Survive Them & Love Again

When relationship arguments drive couples apart; confidence brings them back together.

Relationship arguments can be difficult to get through. You fight with your loved one, feel unsafe, and feel hurt. Most of all, you might worry whether your relationship can weather the storm.

It can. Here’s how.

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How Relationships Work in The Real World: It’s Complicated

Relationships can be complicated.

Everyone who gets involved with another person has good intentions. We all believe the relationship will be great and last forever. Everyone thinks this, so if you thought you were alone, you are not. In fact, you’re the same as the rest of us.

We all want to be happy in our relationships. That too is universal. The problem is that most of us, before we find someone, have put ourselves together pretty well. We probably know how to do everything we need to do to live our life and we don’t need anyone’s help. That is what we consider a successful individual.

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Staying Together Through Anger and Adversity

Staying Together Through Anger and Adversity

Every couple goes through difficult moments. No one couple has a perfect relationship. All couples have challenges, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, angry events and more. This is a natural and normal life. The problem for most couples though is that we get hung up in the difficult parts and can’t see our way through.

When something hard happens and we feel disconnected, unloved, or disrespected, we can sometimes believe that our partner doesn’t care for us, or worse, doesn’t love us. This is a terrible feeling of rejection, and if you are in a relationship, you have experienced this moment. Everyone has, if they’ve lived with another person that they’re close to.

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Conflict in Relationships: Help Make Peace, Not War

Conflict in Relationships

When we get into a scrape with the person we love we often wind up in a difficult place. We sometimes hurt and feel unloved. Maybe we get mad at our mate and sulk or lash out. These are very common positions that many couples engage in. No one likes them. They are difficult and unpleasant.

As a couples specialist I am always trying to understand how to explain relationships in the simplest ways so people can improve how they interact with the person they love. And as I was thinking about this concept it occurred to me that there are really two places we end up occupying after a fight. We are either doing something about our partners or we are doing something about ourselves.

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