Everyone who is in a relationship has thought about leaving it. I don’t care how happy you are in this moment, there has to be some time, maybe in your past, maybe recently, where you felt so upset and you couldn’t figure out how to change the circumstances and you thought that leaving the relationship is the only way out. All of us feel this. This is human.
So if everyone in a relationship thinks about leaving when they get upset, why do some couples seem to figure out how to make their relationships last? These couples have worked on staying. This is the art of being in a relationship, and maybe the art of being a mate. It’s developing the skill of believing the relationship will get better.
As a counselor I often intervene with couples when they start to argue about who said what and who remembers what because that conversation can sometimes turn into a fight. I usually go into some sort of education to help them understand that they each have different brains, life experiences and ways of processing how information is received and stored.
This conversation helps reduce some of the tension and then we can continue our work in the session. But recently I fell victim to feeling so violated because my husband did not remember something I had told him three times!
I am happy to report that my 86 years old mother has a potential new boyfriend. He is a little older, he’s 88. The two of them went on a first date recently. He took her to dinner, (at a high end coffee shop) and then a movie, “The Secret Life of Pets”.
My mom has been single for a long time. She has been hoping to find someone special that she would like, but that hasn’t happened for a while. But the morning after the date I received an animated email from her telling me she had such a good time with Richard. She also wrote that he wants to take her out again and again and again. She said she hasn’t felt this happy being taken out and treated by someone in a long time. She just beamed.