When we meet our special person, most of us fall into believing that since we have found them, that’s all we need. Everything will be right from here on out because we are with our perfect mate. Most of us start our relationships this way. And then we realize that the perfect person is not enough to sustain our happiness.
And believe it or not, this is normal. It happens in almost all relationships. So what do we have to do to make our relationship last, even though sometimes we don’t always feel great about it? I believe we need to grow our relationship muscles.
The most satisfying feeling for two people to share is experiencing a connection with their partner, the person they love. To know you are understood by them and to feel closeness that develops out of this connection is a place all humans long for. It is what reminds us of our togetherness, and it is way we all feel love.
Every one feels this when it’s happening, and we feel it distinctly when it’s cut off and is not available to us. All of us have felt a cold shoulder from someone we wanted to be with. Every one of us has been sad because we were not understood by our mate. This is the pain of being in love with our special person. This is often the key issue that keeps people apart.
Every couple goes through difficult moments. No one couple has a perfect relationship. All couples have challenges, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, angry events and more. This is a natural and normal life. The problem for most couples though is that we get hung up in the difficult parts and can’t see our way through.
When something hard happens and we feel disconnected, unloved, or disrespected, we can sometimes believe that our partner doesn’t care for us, or worse, doesn’t love us. This is a terrible feeling of rejection, and if you are in a relationship, you have experienced this moment. Everyone has, if they’ve lived with another person that they’re close to.
All of us carry around a lot of feelings all the time. That’s just a characteristic of being human. Many of us carry around some deep love for our partners yet we don’t tell them about it. I am sometimes amazed during counseling sessions, when I will ask a man if he loves his girlfriend or wife and he’ll say, “Of course I do,” and then look over at her and say, “She knows that.”
He doesn’t tell her he loves her. He tells me he does and that she knows it. He accepts the fact that she already got his love declarations and assumes that’s all she needs. He already told her this and so it will always exist.