When people get upset, some of us just naturally think people know. It’s not uncommon to believe that if we get our feelings hurt, the person who hurt them knows what they did. We also sometimes believe that everyone else might know what happened too. Our thoughts, especially when we get our feelings hurt, are very strong and convincing.
Being confident takes practice. But building confidence in ourselves and then applying it to our partner might just get us some great results.
Linda here. I’m going to be a guest speaker on Relationship Wars, a radio talk show about the good and bad of relationships.
Join Me By Listening in and Calling on Friday 25, @ 9AM
I’ll be live on Friday 25, at 9AM. You can listen in by visiting Accelerated Radio Praise.
While I’m there, if you’d like to ask a question live, you can even call in and ask by dialing 310-910-9676.
Let’s talk about honesty in relationships.
When I think about honesty in relationships, I am talking about expressing our emotional truth. When I see this in a counseling session I always feel something, like I am sharing a moment that is very special and pure.
I had the pleasure of helping a couple recently. It’s clear they love each other, but they were both exhausted trying to get love from each other. They were angry and were extremely unhappy too.
There is a common connection to disappointment in relationships and it revolves around people wanting their partners to change. Even among couples who love each other there is still a desire to have your partner be different.
We all like our comfort. We are very comfortable in what we like and feel good around and in, which includes our surroundings and people. And when things get disturbed and they are not to our liking it’s pretty natural to want to get whatever is bugging us to stop. And that can include and often does, behavior from our mate.
I was thinking about a birthday in the family the other day. I remembered to wish that family member a happy birthday, and it felt good to do so. Then I remembered that even though I always remember this person’s special day, they never remember mine. And when I thought about being forgotten, I felt sad.
Then I thought more about it and realized that my family member loves me no matter what. This family member didn’t stop loving me when they didn’t wish me a “Happy Birthday.” There was no withholding of love from me. There was no deliberate act of unloving anywhere. So why would I have a thought about this person who just didn’t know something?